When the Covid-19 Pandemic started and the country went under complete lockdown, things felt really unstable; with school going online and all of life moving inside, I decided it would be best to go be with my family and stay with them until things were more clear on the situation. After a few weeks into the lockdown, when we had all started to understand that the situation wasn’t going to get better anytime soon, my school dorms had offered me and other students the opportunity to get released from our contract early. This decision seemed like a good thing on the outside, an easy and comfortable “way out,” but the idea of having to decide to officially leave the city, leave the room I had gotten used to calling a home, was very hard for me! I didn't particularly like the dorms, but I didn't intend to leave them at that point into the school year and into my degree. It just caught me by surprise and I hadn’t mentally-prepared for having to make this decision yet, and with so many unknowns and questions that I needed answers to in order to decide, it felt like too overwhelming of a choice. What I really needed to know was things like: when will lockdown be over, will school go back next year and will I have to be on campus? If I leave the dorms and school comes back then where will I live? Am I willing to spend money on rent while not being there, because if so how many months will it be? And, of course, no one could really give me these answers, especially not in a time of a pandemic, but still they kept my mind busy, and so I felt like I just couldn’t decide; it paralyzed me to even think about making any decision at all from fear that it could result in a mistake later on, once the pandemic clears. Everyone I asked for help or guidance from kept telling me that “it’s something that you gotta decide for yourself…” which honestly just made me even more frustrated because I thought it was clear to them that I can’t decide! For about two weeks I had dragged this decision stress with me everywhere—I went to sleep with the questions in my head and woke up with them again in the morning, running loops in my head, which caused extreme unease physically and mentally–and it really didn’t feel like it would or could go away on its own, only if and when someone would decide for me, instead. So, in the end, what happened was that my decision was to not really decide at all, leaving the situation be the way it was regardless of the opportunity that I had been given. I just continued paying my rent for about 8 more months when, during all that time, I hadn’t gone back to live there not even for a single day since I had left. It was a consequence that hurt and it was money that I threw away and won’t be able to get back. Today, looking back retrospectively at that decision, I feel that what I should have done was to just stop and try to listen to myself without letting fear pop into my head at every chance it got, and just officially decide on something and stick with it, because then I might have saved myself this crazy amount of stress and a lot of money too.